OK Now For the WORST Titanic Movie Votes Please

[Dave Moran]

George C Scott as George S Patton as Captain Edward J Smith ??? Ahahahahaha - I can just picture the discussion

" Oh captain, I do believe this ship is truly a record breaker. But should we not slow down in these icy conditions ? "

" No b-ahem-st -ahem -rd ever won a Blue Ribbon by sinking his ship for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb b-ahem-st-ahem-rd sink "

KEEERRRRR-UUUUMMMMMMPPPPP

" Well, so much for that theory ..."

 

[Richard A. Krebes]

Here's another couple on THAT score, Dave!

{Scott as E.J. is sitting huddled over the wireless key, tapping out furiously the following message to IMM's New York City HQ:}

"You know what sank my ship, Mr. Franklin?
The Godd-n ICEBERGS!"

AND

{Out on the port boat deck, Scott-as-Smith is chewing out Lightoller over the number of people getting into the boats:}

"This is the WORST job of loading I have EVER seen, Mr. Lightoller!!!! You're FIRED!"

{He turns to Murdoch, who is hovering nearby, cringing.}

"If YOU don't get more people into those boats Mr. Murdoch I'll fire YOU!!!!"

{Scott-as-Smith stomps off screen back towards the bridge.
Lightoller then looks at Murdoch and says:}

"Mr. Murdoch, there's not one man aboard this ship who wouldn't like to shoot that bloody fool!"



WHY OH WHY DID THEY BUTCHER THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR THE MINI-SERIES???? I would have LOVED that production if it had been shot as it was orignally scripted. :-(

Richard

 

[Dave Moran]

Add the punchline here, Richard ...

Tell me, Captain Smith, do you pray ?

 

[Bob Godfrey]

And of course his words of encouragement to the firemen:

There's one thing you'll know for sure. Years from now, when your grandchildren are on your knee and they ask you "Where were you when the Titanic went down?", you won't have to say "Well I was shoveling **** in Louisiana."

 

[Richard A. Krebes]

LOL, guys!
Now for some "Dr. Strangelove" parodies!

{A Cunard Line rep is touring the First Class Dining Saloon. Scott-as-Smith hurries over to Ismay and asks in a heated whisper:}
"Mr. Ismay, you're not going to let that lousy Cunard punk have the run of this ship? I thought only YOU were allowed to do that!"

[Scott-as-Smith is awakened by the whistling of the voice tube in his cabin.}

"Lights? E.J. Well, are you SURE the Mesaba's message said what it did about ice?
What have the lookouts seen? NOTHIN'?! Nothing at ALL?!
{After a pause to let Lightoller talk.}
"I don't like the looks of this, Lights. Tell you what {he sits up, still talking into the tube} you give Will and Henry a blast and bump up the lookout status to condition red. I'll be on the bridge soon."

{Ismay and Scott-as-Smith are having a confab about ice on the bridge.}

"Mr. Ismay, if I may speak freely, I'm beginning to smell a big fat Cunard rat. Suppose all these ice warnings are false and Cunard's just waiting for an excuse for the Lusitania to beat us to New York. I mean, you don't expect a bunch of ignorant PEONS to know the sea like us White Star boys do!!!!"
{He gets a dirty look from the Cunard rep, who's just walked onto the bridge.}
"Now that's not meant to be an insult Mr. Lockjaw, I mean just look at all the times Cunard lost the Blue Riband to the Germans and they STILL wouldn't quit!"
{Ismay is by now exasperated, and demands:}
"Can't you STICK TO THE POINT, CAPTAIN??!!"



Richard

 

[sharon rutman]

The winner of the golden iceberg in the category of worst Titanic movie is still Raise the Titanic. Enough said already.

 

[Robert T. Paige]

IMHO-

The winner in the category of "The Worst Portrayal of Captain Edward John Smith in a Titanic Movie or Other Media".

May I have the envelope, please ?

And the winner is.......George C. Scott !

(Bryan Aherne was a close runner-up)

 

[Sam Brannigan]

The bloke in the 1929 German movie with the "Nosferatu in Carry on Sailing" look gets my vote as the worst ever EJ.

They couldn't even find an old Santa Claus beard to stick on him.

Pathetic.

 

[Michael H. Standart]

One can do a lot worse then Raise The Titanic. That silly animated flick where the mice sing as the ship sinks and nobody dies is a bit hard to beat. Inger Sheil suffered through it. The temptation to hunt down the producers of that one and commit homicide clean up the gene pool must have been overwhelming.

 

[sharon rutman]

Just one slight error on my part. Actually it's a dead heat between SOS Titanic and Raise the Titanic for the worst Titanic film.

 

[Inger Sheil]

Oh yes - I'll still vote for the animated Titanic movie. No other movie is even remotely in the same class of sheer, unadulterated dreadfulness.

Sam, have you seen the fantastic EJ in the 1912 German flick? Now he was impressive! His reactions as he peered - repeatedly - through his telescope at the approaching iceberg (alternating with his first officer) were the very finest of silent film mugging.

 

[Sam Brannigan]

Inger - wow! I didn't think the 1912 version survived. Can I download it anywhere?

I'm sure it's primitive, but at least there wouldn't be any Celine Dion warbling.

 

[sharon rutman]

Ghosts of the Abyss now gets my vote in the worst documentary category. gee, at the risk of offending anyone's sensibilities it could have been retitled Another James Cameron Titanic Ego Trip. Do any of these people really care about the Titanic for true scientific and research purposes or are they interesting in using the wreck to further their own career and up date their resumes.

 

[Jason D. Tiller]

quote:

Do any of these people really care about the Titanic for true scientific and research purposes

As a matter of fact they do, Sharon. James Cameron is very passionate about exploring areas of the wreck that have not been seen since 1912. For example, in GOTA he explored the First Class Reception Room with the glass windows still intact, which was an incredible find for historians and researchers alike, but that's only one of many.

Two summers ago, he did a follow up to GOTA with a documentary titled Last Mysteries of the Titanic that featured more exciting finds of various areas, once again not seen in 93 years; including the Turkish Baths. When the unexplored areas were found, Cameron and his team were absolutely overjoyed at the sight of them. During the times that Cameron has spoken about Titanic and her history, there is a genuine passion in his voice to study her further, so there is no ego driven agenda as you think there is. Nor did Cameron and his team do all this incredible work to boost their careers; they don't need to. They did it for the Titanic community as a whole, so that Titanic is better understood by all of us that enjoy researching her.

In my opinion, Ghosts of the Abyss is one of the best documentaries on the wreck, which has broken new ground in terms of exploration.​

 

[sharon rutman]

Well Jason, I guess I'm a cynic at heart. Unfortunately this doesn't make me too popular as I've learned from bitter experience. I always wind up questioning those ulterior motives, looking for camera tricks and wondering what else is up.