Er, I wouldn't really call "disciplined" what went down on those mail steamers in those days.
Hell, Lightoller was canned from another gig for firing off cannons and flying enemy flags, etc during the Boer War and scaring the wee-wee outta those Aussies. Lights loved a good prank and wouldn't let some silly regulations stand in the way of a hearty laugh. This probably is why he was never given his own boat to command. I picture him kinda like the Kramer character from Seinfeld, as he also loved get rich quick schemes like gold prospecting and such in addition to practical jokes/humor.
Then we turn to the Californian, with another "sleeping beauty" Capt. Lord, who knocked off early and left some real B-listers in charge. The dunces on that tub thought the distress rockets were a fireworks show or something. Apparently they mistook it for the 4th of July! Lord told these clowns they were "company signals," but never even bothered getting out of bed to see for himself. Next day their snoozing radio operator clogs up the lines gossiping like a schoolgirl and Marconi damn near throttled him when they got to NYC. Doesn't sound too "disciplined" either. Hard to blame Lord too much though, since he at least had enough sense to stop for the night when he saw icebergs all around his tub. Even if he had gone to help, his crew were so comically inept it's unlikely they'd have done much good anyway. I picture Groves kinda like Gilligan and Lord like the Skipper.
Personally I think Smith was in fact more "cruise director" than an actual seaman/authority figure by the time Titanic left port in 1912. He'd recently smashed up the Olympic, damn near hit the New York on the way outta Southampton, and seemed to be seriously losing his nautical skills, such as they were. Maybe that's why he left the driving to others and preferred hanging out with the passengers most of the time? Being 62 in 1912 would be like about age 90 today with the life expectancy of the time. I wonder if his retirement was something WSL secretly mandated, kinda like today where airline pilots gotta retire at a certain age regardless of health?
Also the fact that Smith died nearly broke and his wife had to seek public relief shows he probably lost a good bit of dough playing cards and all.
Also, regardless of the so-called official "rules," I don't think it's hard to imagine Smith letting passengers on the bridge to check out the controls and maybe steer for awhile or blow the whistle, climb up the crow's nest, etc. Esp. with Ismay on board.
One can easily picture the millionaries asking technical questions after dinner and Ismay saying "Capt. Smith here would be delighted to give you a private tour of the bridge," kinda like how today the rich get "backstage passes" at rock concerts.
I could see this exclusive little group being led by Ismay, drinks in hand, like a little entourage from the smoking lounge to the bridge. JJ Astor might even borrow Smith's coat & hat and "take the wheel," while Sir Cosmo called out compass orders and tooted the whistle w/ a highball glass in one hand. Seems like pretty harmless fun since it only goes 25 mph tops and there's nothing to smash into for miles & miles around most of the time. Talk about great PR - wouldn't you love to have this collection of elite people say "yeah, I got to drive the Titanic after dinner one night- man is she smooth," things like that.
Hell, they DID put passengers in charge of lifeboats, like the one fellow who was a yachtsman. He slid down the rope and right into the boat and was no spring chicken either. So it seems the line between crew and passengers wasn't so strictly observed in reality. Back then most men had more common sense than people today, and many were what you'd call "jack of all trades."
EDIT: Here is the clip from the 1996 TV documentary where the lady gets to drive the boat. Note how her & her boyfriend are both shooting the breeze w/ Smith and it looks like others passengers are hanging around the bridge too. The door to the promenade deck is open and it looks like anyone can just walk in & say hello as the whim strikes them. FF the clip to 8:10 for the scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm7_SyPWH0s&NR=1