South Pole Expedition 2006 The Sensible Version

[Senan Molony]

BRRR!! Guess who was waiting in the bathroom!!

AAIIEEE!!

Luck what you've did, Ernie... a thousand tribulations!

She had the knife out, and she would have KILLED me, had not Inger heard my screams and rushed in!

Okay, she was a bit distracted for a while, but then she swiped her moderator card and - PUFF! - Glenn completely disappeared.

"That was Close," I said.

"I know," said Inger, picking up the knife from the floor.

Thank God someone acted!!

Now all those awfulnesses are confined to the last thread, the sealions, lobsters, etc trapped forever between the pages of Dan Brown's forlorn sequel.

With luck, I think we are now about 665 posts to the good.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

Sensible Edition?

Come on, Molony! Surely you're not off to the South Pole to drink yourself sensible!

 

[Inger Sheil]

There there, Sen - we've dealt with the nasty bunny boiler, and all is well.

Back on our new, deadly earnest and oh-so-serious mode...we need to sort out the logistics of this trip, if it's ever going to happen. I'm booked and Senan is practically in the Pub door already, but is anyone else going to kick on to Dublin and Anascaul after Liverpool in April?

If not, I'm going to have to sort out my own Big Fella/Sheehan/Sheil history tour. Of course, anyone who wishes to join me in that would be welcome to do so. I'm sure there'll be pubs involved...just not necessarily ones with kewel Antarctic links. And no Father Browne album, as Sen has promised us in Dublin.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

we need to sort out the logistics of this trip

Just stick me in a large box, and send me to:

Guinness Brewery,
St. James' Gate,
Dublin,
Ireland.

I'll pay the postage.
I'd also like a 'Fragile' sticker, if I may.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

but is anyone else going to kick on to Dublin and Anascaul after Liverpool in April?

I'm planning on doing, but this all depends on a thing or two.
A) Ideally, I'd like to be the happy recipient of the compo I've been waiting for before I go on any holidays this year.
B) I don't know whether or not I'll be able to afford the time off work.
C) I don't have anywhere to stay.

I trust this Inn is - you know - an Inn?

 

[Nancy Bratby]

quote: A) Ideally, I'd like to be the happy recipient of the compo I've been waiting for before I go on any holidays this year.

Ryan,(cough)if that's the Readers Digest prize draw you're talking about it's a waste of time. Especially when you send back the No envelope.

My euromillions didn't come up either.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

No, Nancy - this would be from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority for an attempt on my life.
But they've given priority on the London Bombings victims, so I doubt I'll be getting it any time soon.

My EuroMillions didn't come up, either (

 

[Senan Molony]

>>an attempt on my life.<<

I know, Ryan, I know...

Geoff "the Duellist" has been apologising to me ever since.

I said to him, I said: "look, it's not your fault. It happens to the best of us. Take a rest. Anyway, I think that Mehmet Ali Agca is out of prison this weather..."

Speaking of decease -

Trippers to the South Pole Inn will get three major Antarctic explorers for their money.

Not only will we take in Shackleton's birthplace and museum/pub, and not only Tom Crean's pub/museum...

But close by the South Pole Inn is Crean's tomb, which he naturally hewed himself, and on it are porcelain flowers to this day that were delivered on the day of his funeral by Rolls Royce on the special instructions of none other than Lt Cmdr Teddy Evans.

Yes, Inger, that's who I said.

The flowers will have been there 68 years this year.

In Anascaul is the very fine Old Anchor guesthouse, which no doubt can accommodate the expedition overflow.

And importantly, across the road from the South Pole Inn, is one of the most photographed (and postcard-rendered) pubfronts in Ireland:

But, you know, I wouldn't like any of you to let your employers down.

If you do, you could be wracked with the guilt on your own deathbeds.

 

[Senan Molony]

Oh yes, I should have said.

Why did Teddy Evans send those fleurs?

Had it anything to do with the fact that when he could go no further on one expedition, Crean set him up in a bivouac and despite being martyred himself by scurvy, walked off thirty miles alone in the frozen wastes with just three biscuits in his pocket to find help?

Might have had something to do with it.

So, Ryan, don't worry about where you are going to sleep. Pack three fig rolls carefully into a hanky, and start walking towards the ferry.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

But, you know, I wouldn't like any of you to let your employers down.

I'm self-employed.

If you do, you could be wracked with the guilt on your own deathbeds.

All I have to do is sit down on the bus and I'm wracked with guilt. I think to myself, "Was it really necessary to knock over that woman with the zimmerframe in the race for the seat?"

 

[Senan Molony]

>>I'm self-employed.<<

Then you clearly know the rate for the job.

Which makes me think I should ask Whitfield for some of those Green Shield Stamps back.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

Then you clearly know the rate for the job.

What do you mean?

 

[Senan Molony]

Kidding, Ryan. Three fig rolls is a decent wage for anyone. ;-)

Seriously, everyone wants to know - who tried to kill you?

Tell us in graphic detail.

 

[Ryan McKeefery]

You really want to know?
I'll apologise for ranting in advance.

My sister's boyfriend did.
He bullied me since I was little, but then I got bigger (17) and he didn't like it when I hit back and battered him, because he's supposed to be a rock hard kickboxer.
So he promised to kill me.

Months later (New Years' Eve, to be exact), he started a fight with me again and... well, he regretted it again.
But this time, we were in a pub and there were glasses handy. He smashed my own pint (cheeky bar-steward!) in my face and severed a rather important artery just above my ear.

I was about one minute away from bleeding to death, they told me at the hospital as my artery was stitched up and I begged for morphine like a man.

Graphic enough? Because I have the uncensored version.

 

[Inger Sheil]

Teddy Evans! Oh, it just gets better and better

A good man, Evans. Great fan of Oates. Not so crash hot on Scott, of course, but everyone has their little foibles...

And yes, that was a shining moment of untrumpeted heroism when Crean saved his life.

There's even a Titanic link - sort of. Kenneth More played Evans (perfectly, I reckon) in Scott of the Antarctic

Am looking yearningly at the pub front. It's not fair we lack that sort of t'ing here in Oz...with all our flash cocktail bars and waterfront watering holes, we don't have decent pubs like that. Roll on April...!