Why Lightoller denied the chance to get in the boat

The chief officer Henry Wilde told Lightoller to take charge and to get in! Lightoller replied with "Not likely" and denied the chance to get in the boat!
Now because of this action people have been labeling Lightoller as some sort of hero who denied the chance to save himself and help others in the time the sink had left!
Well thats not true and is definitely not the reason Lightoller denied the chance to get in!
Collapsible A and B were the only 2 boats left on the ship stored on top of the officers quarters! As the boat Wilde had told Lightoller to get in was the only boat passengers could see that is being lowered and is in the davits! Because of that there was more rush and more of a rioting crowd at that boat! It would take some time to get the crowd in control to get the woman in and the boat lowered safely! Lightoller knew about this and decided to take the easy way by just getting Collapsible B of the officers quarters and in the ocean as there was not enough time to get in on the davits and lower it properly! He knew there was a boat that would be easier to get on and lower away! Lightoller had no intention o staying to help people and go down with the ship, he always had an intention to get on one of the collapsible or 1 of the last boats to be lowered!
Theres no reason for him to be called a hero because of a misunderstanding!
 
In the first place, I have never believed that "Not damn likely!" story from Lightoller, nor the one about Ship's Doctor William O'Loughlin asking Lightoller if he was warm because the latter was supposedly sweating profusely. Apart from the fact that both those stories sound like cheap put-up tales, neither of those supposed witnesses survived to substantiate Lightoller's statements.
 
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