Humorous Stories

[Mike Herbold]

Shelley:
You are truly amazing. Can't wait to have my sister-in-law, the only artistic Herbold, start working on this. I was going to kid you (like I always do with Maureen Zottoli) and ask for the microwave recipe, and you managed to work some of that in without me even having to mention it.
And, as a side treat, I now have something creative to do with my pretzels when sitting back and relaxing with a cool Bass Ale (my official Titanic beer).
Thanks for sharing your secret recipe. I just had a great chuckle thinking of the fun and havoc you could wreak as a home economics teacher.

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Mike- I have also re-created the Second Class menu for survivors. Once Channel 10 in Providence sent a camera crew to film it- the lamb and mint sauce, etc. My daughters and I dressed in our 1912 finery and sang various Titanic pieces around the piano(12 "takes" of Autumn.) For the centerpiece I have an ice sculpture mold of an iceberg (altered from a duck mold) - the Revell Titanic model is just the right scale for the presentation. With the ice and ship set on an oval mirror- it made an amazing vignette which survived the hot filming lights. At the time my diningroom was done in a nautical motif with menus from famous ships lining the walls and the big oil of the iceberg on the wall
http://www.geocities.com/revdma2/backtotheboatroom.html
which I had painted at Marshall's studio.
I have recipes for the last dinner-I used to write a column called "Feasting Afloat"- and I collect ship's cookbooks- there are more than you would imagine from the cruise liners. I am certain there are those out there who must think all this the WORST in bad taste so I hesitate to mention it. I have written a cookbook with Lizzie Borden recipes called Teatime at Maplecroft- as yet unpublished. The Lizzie Borden paperdolls were however and I have been giving great thought to a Titanic Paperdoll collection (dresses from the Cameron movie of course). Yes- I just loved Home Economics but taught languages instead.
I believe one should surround oneself with their hobbies- I have stencilled Titanic clothing, rugs, shower curtains, port and starboard SNEAKERS, and muslin window curtains- and painted the door panels
http://www.geocities.com/revdma2/boatroom.html
Now I won't tell you about Lizzie's room HERE! Live what you love.....

 

[Mike Herbold]

Shelley:
Thanks for the detailed message. My wife, bless her, read it, and commented "And I thought you were weird!" Then I reminded her about her fanaticism for the Denver Broncos, including blankets, wristwatches, trash cans, dolls, statues, plaques, playing cards, posters, coffee mugs, T-shirts, jerseys and jackets, shoelaces, ball caps, beach towels, and clocks, and she was quiet for a second. Then I told her that the gigantic poster of John Elway hanging over our bed made me feel less of a man, and that made her feel guilty, and she was quiet for another second. Then....

Ok, so actually, she's still asleep, but if she ever bugs me again about all my Titanic books, magazines, videos, models, puzzles, games, T-Shirts, blankets, beach towels, posters, drawings, plates, wind-up chimes, or breath mints, I'm gonna shove your message right down her throat, and tell her to bake me a Titanic cake.
Understandably Yours,
TitanicMan

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Er... I have Titanic over my bed, a Lizzie Borden mannequin (minus head) in the corner-and we won't even discuss Dracula in the hall.Never asked the Captain how that made HIM feel. Once he muttered "crazy...#@&^%(*!under his breath)... He ties flies by the hour, digs rock gardens in August and builds WWII planes NONSTOP- I rest my case!

 

[Tracy Smith]

Shelley, growing up in Swansea, MA (about six miles from Fall River), and having the first name of Elizabeth was not an easy thing. I credit Lizzie Borden and her lengend for being a large factor in the reason why I hate my first name and prefer my middle name of Tracy.

Mike, I have the same "thing" your wife does about the Broncos, except with Dale Earnhardt. I'm still not quite believing that he's gone.

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Forgot to say that when icing those cakes- it is BEST to use a pastry bag, icing made with vegetable shortening instead of butter and a Wilton star tip. Just smearing on icing out of a can "pulls"the cake and crumbing become the issue. The 3D cake made with storebought poundcake can take more abuse as it is very dense. Allow a good 3 hours for this cake -baking and decorating venture and email me if you feel fainthearted! For a birthday party with a nautical theme, use little signal flags for decoration instead of streamers, red paper products with White Stars stuck on, wading pool full of bathtub boats, make a sailboat and float it (paper sails and simple hull made of walnut shells, pin the anchor on the Queen Mary, words games which make you think like.. I am going to Queenstown on the Queen Mary and am taking a Quart of Quinces- go through the whole ship alphabet from Aquitania to Zenith. Postcards of the ships pinned around are fun,maps travelposters and brochures of faraway places, ship bingo, shuffleboard-well anyway- lots of room for imagination here. The fifth graders liked it- and needless to say what the cake and cookies looked like. Ok- I hang up my spoon now!

 

[Colleen Collier]

Shelly. Loved the link. What a very nice collection you have. I was looking at it, and before I knew it I was singing "By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea" and looked up to see my kids standing there staring at me like I had lost it.
Thanks inadvertantly for the laugh today. Colleen

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Thanks Colleen- just wait till you see the looks you get when you bake that Titanic cake! Forgot to mention, I usually have peppermint (white)Life Savers in a candy dish along side- they DO look like little life rings from shipboard- and yes- with a black felt tip pen you can write ports of registry AND RMS Queen Mary or whoever on 'em!

 

[Colleen Collier]

Shelly. My husband is wishfully eye balling the WW2 planes, and I got a history lesson on what they all were......
Great, I will come home one day and have some hanging in my house too. ha ha
good website though!! Colleen

 

[Colleen Collier]

Shelly. Did you make a Titanic cake for George Tulloch's 50th birthday? He was out on expidition, and it was either 1994 or 1996 I believe. I just bought a short video, and in it they were singing Happy Birthday, and out comes this cake. It was really something!!(I yelped when I saw it!)

Anxious to know.
Colleen

 

[Courtney Scully]

Here's a cute story I guess and it's kinda a funny one too. When I was in 2nd grade I hated to read I mean I depised it, well at the book fair that fall my mom got me to pick out some books. The only book I can remember getting and reading is Finding the Titanic bye Robert D. Ballard it was the first book I read front to back without help and really liked it.I still have it too I'm 15 now I and its' funny looking on the inside cover I have written in my childish hand writing and my name. Hmmm that book changed my pattern in life after that I was so pround of reading one book I just fell in love with it or something.

 

[Robert W. Collier]

This Christmas, we had the pleasure of listening to my brother (former Navy) and my father-in-law (former Army), swap stories after dinner. There is one in particular I wanted to share that I have always got a good laugh from.

My father-in-law (Leo) was comming back from his tour in Europe in 1954, on board the troop carrier Gen. Alex M. Patch (AP-122), when they encountered a terrible storm. Leo said it was so bad even the sailers were sick. Well, nature made it's call on him, as it so often does at the worst of times. The problem was finding a head that wasn't occupied with sick, heaving people. He finally found one up at the bow. Unfortunetly, the pitching of the ship up there, was at its worst. Leo sat down, and said he grabbed on to the toilet for his life. As the ship pitched up and down, he felt he was almost weightless at some points, then the toilet would drop out from under him as the ship plunged. After awhile, Leo had to give it up, since obviously, nothing was going to get done in the head. The whole time I am picturing the ship plunging up and down, 30 and 40 feet at a time, and hapless young soldier Leo riding that toilet hanging on for his life.

My brother added, there are cowboys who brag that they rode a bull or a bucking bronco for eight seconds. He said Leo could say, "Hell that ain't nothing, I rode a toilet for five minutes."

The sad part is, that Leo did not even get a belt buckle for the ride of his life.
Respectfully,
Robert W. Collier

 

[Michael H. Standart]

It may be just as well he couldn't get anything done. If he's weightless, guess what else is? (yuk!)

Cordially,
Michael H. Standart

 

[Colleen Collier]

P.S. My dad volunteered to help dish up grub that night, and what was the dinner??? Baked Ox tongue. These queasy, green men looked none too happy, when all the sudden one of them exclaimed, "Look, you can still see the tastebuds!" About half the crowd dropped their trays and left!
Colleen