That is indeed a very good point. To one that I have no real answer. The loading of the boats however could be seen two ways. One is that Smith had no way of knowing that his previous order (to have them swung out) was completed. So Lightoller going to Smith to ask permission to load the boats, was Lightoller's way of telling Smith that the previous order had been carried out, and the next step in the evolution (which required the masters consent) need an affirmative response from Smith.
But the rockets.....
But the rockets.....